Taking Control

Mahatma Ghandi once said, "you must be the change you want to see in the world." I only took notice of this quote because the project director at my work always had it tagged to the end of her emails. Despite its direct simplicity, this sweet and uncomplicated phrase resonated with me; its significance heightened by corresponding to a prevalent theme in my personal relationship with Mr. W.

When I met W, I was at most a conflicted, confused and emotionally taut person. My fragile brink of tearful oblivion could be at any time tipped over and sent crashing. This hanging balance kept me from doing many things that I wanted to do, but most importantly that needed to be done. When overwrought with mental distress, we let things fester and accumulate from fear--fear of confrontation, and fear of unpredictability.

W is an inspiration. He encouraged me to regain control and take responsibility for the state of my existence. And from there, I learned to do things in order to make life happen, from sending in applications and filing taxes to aspects of grander proportions.

So with this inelaborate philosophy in hand, small changes are only the beginning of my conquest. There are many things wrong in this world, but I learned that dishes don't wash themselves. Therefore when we don't like something, the only thing we can do is to change it.

My first steps of change involve a ticket to Cambodia, a small digital camcorder, and a research design for truth, and the untold stories--the things that never get heard from the people drowned in contemporary social jabber. The further we get away from a forgotten era, the harder it will be to remember it. The longer we wait, the more people age and die off with these stories--stories that, I believe, would offer great insight into the fine line between life and death; hope and despair--stories that people would never hear otherwise--stories that come from the survivors themselves.

I am planning on entering a "First Citizen Journalism Contest" sponsored by an upcoming independent media source. Albeit I have no real journalist experience, I do have something that needs to be said, heard and contemplated. I want to offer explainations, and promote discussion and awareness. I want to show why things are the way they are, how it happened and why it is important to never forget.

I want to make a difference; I want to be the change that I want to see in the world.

Details/progress update pending.